Let me say this:  bein' an idiot ain't  no box of chocolates.

Nobody ever got into trouble by keepin'  his mouth shut.
 

Dream, but don't quit your day job.

Don't own nothin' if you can help it.  If you can, even rent your shoes.

To save energy, do not go out lookin'  for trouble; chances are, 
it will find you soon enough.

If you go to the zoo, always take somethin' to feed the animals -- 
even if the signs say "Do Not Feed Animals."  It wasn't the animals 
that put them signs up.

Forget "Don't get mad ~ get even." If you're really mad, go ahead 
and stomp that sucker flat.


If you got to pee, do not talk about it. Just do it. Might not be time later.


Most people don't look dumb till they start talkin'.

Be prepared to take some shit in life; just do not take more 
than a mouthful at a time.

If you're gonna screw up, do it while you are young.  Older you get, 
harder it is to bounce back.

Whenever somebody says "I am here to help you," hold on to your wallet.

You get into a fight, first thing you do is whang yourself over the head 
with a fryin' pan or somethin'.  Usually, your opponent will then run 
away, figgerin' that if you was willing to do that to yourself, then what
 was you fixin'  to do to him!.

Some people, like me, are born idiots, but many more become stupider 
as they go along.

Your chances of winnin' the lottery get a lot better if you buy a ticket.

If you don't know where you are goin', you will probably not wind up there.

Nobody ever went broke sayin' "good mornin'" to folks.

It is one thing to talk bullshit; it is another to believe it.

Always be able to look back and say 
"At least I didn't lead no humdrum life."

"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy."

©TypowritersDesigns 2003

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